APPLICATION FOR POSTION SBII[b]

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

I am the answer to your prayers and will consider taking a Board position on your forum if you ask nicely.

I have answered your questionaire to the best of my ability and feel confident that I am by far the best applicant that you will receive..

NAME: Cory Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HAHAHAHA. But seriously whatevers available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options in the SuBo Mall and a grand style severance package. If that's not possible make me an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens, cigarette lighters and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS OF WORK: 1:30-3:30 with an hour off for lunch. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS: Yes, but they're more suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER: If I had one, would I be here?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY: What does that mean? Currently I am doing 450 hours community time for an attempted hold-up.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 POUNDS: Of what?

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE: Only when set on fire!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy husband who thinks I am the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually I'd like to be doing that right now!

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE: No!!! But I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

Oh Feisty,

THAT is the best application I have ever seen. I am very impressed. I am sure you will fit right in with that kind of resume.

Feisty, you have just outdone yourself. This is priceless!

They would be idiots if they did not give you the position Fiesty! I am sure that not one person even comes close to your qualifications.

You should also mention that you ride the range on your Gypsy Vanner, since you might have to compete with ponylady

FeistyFilly---as far as I can tell your only competition will be from a PrancingPony!!!

ELECTIONS? ELECTIONS? THEY DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' ELECTIONS!!!!

I would apply, but it turns out I'm not nearly corrupt enough and I tell the truth too much!

Feity the Forum needs you! badly

You got my vote, hold on ..... are you still a member there?

There will not be a better applicant.

My dog feisty you are over qualified for any position. You should run for President they always need good qualified people....