SuBo fanatic breaks into TV station!
A male Susan Boyle fanatic stormed into an Italian TV station earlier today, demanding that his SuBo ‘tribute videos’ be shown on TV.
The man, clutching an armful of DVDs, burst into the TV station headquarters just before noon local time, threatening staff with a large sausage.
“I’ll shoot you all! This may look like a sausage, but I assure you it is loaded and I’ll use it if I have to!” screamed the deluded fanatic.
The man, thought to be a delusional SuBo fanatic, demanded that all his 23,000 SuBo ‘tribute videos’ be played endlessly on Italian State TV.
“I love Susan and she needs to tell me she loves me too! I create these videos to show you my love!” sobbed the Italian fanatic.
The sugary videos, with a total runtime of 23 days, 14 hours, and 8 minutes, all appear to be basically the same.
“We can’t tell one from another. They all seem to be the same photos of SuBo set to soppy music, and end with this guy declaring his love for her,” grumbled a TV executive.
The fanatic was finally overpowered and taken away by the police when he got hungry and ate the sausage.
“Now why didn’t I think of that? I love Susan even more than this guy!” groaned a rival ‘tribute video’ producer.
The fanatic is likely to be charged with 23,000 counts of ‘boring the pants off people’ when he appears in court later today, an offence that still carries the death penalty in Italy (well, it might do!).
When asked what his last request would be, he sobbed “a computer with Movie Maker installed! Just one last tribute video!”
Note: this is a spoof article and may or may not be based on anyone living, dead, or otherwise!
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