SuBo fanatics take emergency acting lessons!
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies are today signing up for emergency acting lessons, after it was announced her life story is to be made into a movie.
The fanatics, who will apparently do anything to be cast in the role of SuBo, are flocking to world renowned acting coach Sir Luvvie Kissmyass.
“Yes, we’ve had a large influx of ageing wealthy American ladies wearing red scarves wanting acting lessons. They can’t act for toffee, but what the hell, I’ll take their wealthy husband’s money. I could do with another couple of storeys on the mansion!” cackled Sir Luvvie.
The fanatics are polishing their Scottish accents in readiness for their auditions.
“Och, yes, I’ve been to Scotland so many times I’m almost a native!” rambled a fanatic in a faux Scots accent, with more than a hint of Texan.
Male fanatics want in on the act too.
"Don't count me oot! I know I can play oor lassie, nae problem!" screeched a male fanatic in a comically over-the-top falsetto Scots accent.
Hollywood casting directors seem less than impressed.
“There’s no way we’re casting anyone over the age of 20. Mostly because we never cast anyone over the age of 20 for anything,” grumbled a casting director while squeezing his zits.
The movie, which will star people you’ve never heard of with very white teeth, perfect tans, and manicures, will start shooting nowhere near Scotland soon.