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|Subject: Blackburn awash with condiment! Mon Feb 11, 2013 5:39 pm|| |
SuBo’s hometown awash with condiment!
Susan Boyle had a shock earlier today, when a truck dumped 100,000 jars of an American mayonnaise-like condiment on her front lawn.
SuBo, who had recently appeared in a commercial for the condiment, couldn’t get out of her front door and was heard shouting expletives down her mobile phone.
It later transpired that due to a contractual misunderstanding, she was to be paid in goods rather than cash for her appearance.
“We were expecting $100,000, but it appears we’d actually agreed to 100,000 jars of the stuff,” grumbled an unnamed member of her team.
Soon after the drop-off, a number of American fanatics wearing red scarves were seen blessing the condiment. “Oh, papa god, bless this condiment for it isn’t mayonnaise. Amen!” could be heard coming from her garden.
An unnamed member of SuBo’s family was later seen setting up a stall outside her front gate in an attempt to sell off the condiment. “Get your condiments, 3 jars for a fiver!” he could be heard shouting to anyone who had the misfortune to be passing. “Oh well, it could always be used in the SuBo Tea Room when it opens in 2085!” he laughed.
This is a spoof. It didn't really happen like this at all. She actually got 200,000 jars, and the Tea Room is expected to open in 2185!