SuBo fanatics storm university math department!
A large gaggle of Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have stormed a leading university’s math department, and are apparently holding a number of top math professors hostage.
The drama unfolded earlier, when it was announced on SuBo’s website that a special password would soon be revealed allowing fanatics access to special tickets for her Scottish tour.
“We demand that they work out this password for us! We must know it now so we can get those tickets before any of the great unwashed get them. We can’t have ordinary people getting those tickets, only us – her true fans!” said a spokesloony for the group.
Police suspected the loonies were responsible when they found the doors to the building had been tied up with red scarves. DNA analysis on the scarves later revealed they were ‘96% loony’.
The loonies have also said that if their demand isn’t met, they’ll start blessing the hostages every hour on the hour. “Oh crap, shoot me now!” wept a hostage.
“It’s going to be a long night” said a police negotiator, as 100 bottles of Irn Bru and 300 boxes of Depends were taken into the building.
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