SuBo fanatics want to be bookies!
Hundreds of Susan Boyle fanatics have applied for a job at a bookmakers in her hometown after it was revealed SuBo herself had considered applying for a job there.
“We were amazed at how many people wanted the minimum wage job,” said a surprised spokesperson. “We were particularly amazed at how far people were willing to travel. Some woman wanted to come from Texas and promised me free quilts for life if she got the job!” he continued.
The fanatics, who most likely don’t even know what a bookies is, were determined to get the job.
“We absolutely must be wherever Susan is. She needs us, her best friends forever and number one super-duper-fans to support her in whatever she does,” rambled some old dear wearing a red scarf.
“Well I’ll be the best for the job. I’ve been making books for years in my spare time. I particularly like leather binding,” rambled an obviously confused old dear, perhaps wearing her red scarf a little too tightly.
“If I don’t get the job I’ll have my wealthy husband buy the store for me, then they’ll have to give me the job!” snarled some arrogant fanatic while sat in her Rolls-Royce.
“Gambling is evil, so we will work from the inside to rid Blackburn of this evil and turn the store into a blessing centre!” said a couple of fanatics while attempting to bless this reporter.
A spokeswoman for the fanatic’s main gathering place, Subo Fanatics Intergalactic, denied the claims.
“Our members are not the ones applying for the job. They are far too busy following Susan around, making quilts, knitting red scarves, miraculously bumping into her wherever she goes, and sending her worthless crap through the mail. Besides, the job is mine!”
This is a spoof, and may not be entirely true.