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| Subject: SuBo fanatic has lucky escape! Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:08 pm | |
| SuBo fanatic has lucky escape!
A red scarf wearing Susan Boyle fanatical loony had a lucky escape earlier today when her ear trumpet exploded.
The fanatic, 103, had read that SuBo is to cover Depeche Mode’s “Enjoy the Silence” and went looking for it on a popular video sharing website.
“I decided to find out what this song was like, and I was appalled to find it was just heavy metal noise. My ear trumpet exploded with the racket, I leapt backwards, and my cat had a nervous breakdown. I have asked my wealthy husband to sue somebody. Anybody. We’re down to our last 20 million, so we need every penny. Following Susan around the world doesn’t come cheap, you know,” rambled some deluded old dear.
Other old fanatical loonies were equally unimpressed.
“What is this noise? I can’t settle down in my comfy slippers and drink my milky cocoa listening to this racket. I demand that it be removed from the CD and replaced with a nice gentle polka,” rambled another old dear.
“Well, I’m not going to buy it if this is on. We are her true fans and are responsible for at least 0.000000001% of her record sales. Without us I’m certain the record company would go bust,” said another old dear in a red scarf.
“What’s a dipmode? Is that something for my computer?” said a confused old dear.
“There’s no need to panic! We’ve slowed it down to half speed and Susan will be singing with another choir of children dressed in white gowns and holding candles for no good reason,” a spokesperson for the record company most likely didn’t say.
Old dears have been asked to send their broken ear trumpets back through a time warp to the record company for replacement. This is a spoof, but you knew that didn't you? Didn't you?! |
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