APPLICATION FOR BOARD POSITION SBII FORUM

APPLICATION FOR POSTION SBII[b]

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

I am the answer to your prayers and will consider taking a Board position on your forum if you ask nicely.

I have answered your questionaire to the best of my ability and feel confident that I am by far the best applicant that you will receive..

NAME: Cory Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HAHAHAHA. But seriously whatevers available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options in the SuBo Mall and a grand style severance package. If that's not possible make me an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens, cigarette lighters and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS OF WORK: 1:30-3:30 with an hour off for lunch. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS: Yes, but they're more suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER: If I had one, would I be here?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY: What does that mean? Currently I am doing 450 hours community time for an attempted hold-up.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 POUNDS: Of what?

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE: Only when set on fire!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy husband who thinks I am the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually I'd like to be doing that right now!

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE: No!!! But I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

Oh Feisty,

THAT is the best application I have ever seen. I am very impressed. I am sure you will fit right in with that kind of resume.

Feisty, you have just outdone yourself. This is priceless!

They would be idiots if they did not give you the position Fiesty! I am sure that not one person even comes close to your qualifications.

You should also mention that you ride the range on your Gypsy Vanner, since you might have to compete with ponylady

FeistyFilly---as far as I can tell your only competition will be from a PrancingPony!!!

ELECTIONS? ELECTIONS? THEY DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' ELECTIONS!!!!

I would apply, but it turns out I'm not nearly corrupt enough and I tell the truth too much!

Feity the Forum needs you! badly

You got my vote, hold on ..... are you still a member there?

feistyfilly wrote:

APPLICATION FOR POSTION SBII

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

I am the answer to your prayers

You had me losing it right here. And I was a lost cause all the way through.

There will not be a better applicant.

My dog feisty you are over qualified for any position. You should run for President they always need good qualified people....

feistyfilly wrote:

APPLICATION FOR POSTION SBII

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

I am the answer to your prayers

The thought of their faces as they read that line split my sides also.

I hope you get the position, but you are definitely over-qualified.

With your – er – situational flexibility, you’re a shoo-in.

Yep, you're a definite loonie!!!

You got my vote!

That's unanimous then, isn't it?!?!

That's great! My fave:

"DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS: Yes, but they're more suited to a more intimate environment."

Such as . . . . - ??????

It turns out only 4 people will actually be eligible to vote. You have to have posted at least nine sixteenths of your own body weight times during the last five seventeenths of the first three nineths of the eleventh moon rising, while adding the first number you thought of, minus the number of tribute videos created by CB during any given day, divided by the number of people banned for no reason, multiplied by the number of pointless prayers to 'papa god' posted during the third hour of every seventh day of each consecutive month.

Admin wrote:

It turns out only 4 people will actually be eligible to vote. You have to have posted at least nine sixteenths of your own body weight times during the last five seventeenths of the first three nineths of the eleventh moon rising, while adding the first number you thought of, minus the number of tribute videos created by CB during any given day, divided by the number of people banned for no reason, multiplied by the number of pointless prayers to 'papa god' posted during the third hour of every seventh day of each consecutive month.

That must be you, me, Tinky and Kaligua then?????

janakimack wrote:

Admin wrote:

It turns out only 4 people will actually be eligible to vote. You have to have posted at least nine sixteenths of your own body weight times during the last five seventeenths of the first three nineths of the eleventh moon rising, while adding the first number you thought of, minus the number of tribute videos created by CB during any given day, divided by the number of people banned for no reason, multiplied by the number of pointless prayers to 'papa god' posted during the third hour of every seventh day of each consecutive month.

That must be you, me, Tinky and Kaligua then?????

There are more candidates than voters, or at least that's what I heard! I think only those who have been banned should be allowed to vote!

Admin wrote:

janakimack wrote:

Admin wrote:

It turns out only 4 people will actually be eligible to vote. You have to have posted at least nine sixteenths of your own body weight times during the last five seventeenths of the first three nineths of the eleventh moon rising, while adding the first number you thought of, minus the number of tribute videos created by CB during any given day, divided by the number of people banned for no reason, multiplied by the number of pointless prayers to 'papa god' posted during the third hour of every seventh day of each consecutive month.

That must be you, me, Tinky and Kaligua then?????

There are more candidates than voters, or at least that's what I heard! I think only those who have been banned should be allowed to vote!

I understand that they are voting for 3 board members - wasforgas, truustbuist and sunandroses - and MartyPa, Canadian Bill and Martha Ellen are already trying to have them re-elected. I tried to give my opinion, that if you continually vote for the same old people you become exposed to group think and that is not good for the forum. I got shut down, first by Tink and then by someone else who said that the board had only been functioning for a year and that the rules considering the same old people don't apply as the NPO is not old enough for group think to take place. Anyhow, there did not seem to be a lot of interest in the thread and it went off the page as more important threads took their place. It will be interesting to see what happens and how many people vote, if that is possible.

I just love the slogan

"ANYBODY CAN WIN...UNLESS THERE HAPPENS TO BE A SECOND ENTRY".

feistyfilly wrote:

I just love the slogan

"ANYBODY CAN WIN...UNLESS THERE HAPPENS TO BE A SECOND ENTRY"

Duplicated post.

WATCH THIS SPACE

Admin wrote:

I would vote for you, but I am like Tweek, Treedeen and Brooklyn Blessings....I do not have enough posts. There are many of us in that position. Perhaps we could upload 3 videos....that might put us on the voter's list!

OliveOyl wrote:

Admin wrote:

I would vote for you, but I am like Tweek, Treedeen and Brooklyn Blessings....I do not have enough posts. There are many of us in that position. Perhaps we could upload 3 videos....that might put us on the voter's list!

You are too late anyway. You had to do it before the 14th. I cannot vote because I do not have 30 posts in the last 180 days??????

You need to fill out an application first. Change 'MP' to 'Board Member', and 'turnip' to 'visit to Susan's house' and it would go like this!



(Note to those with a red scarf: That's just a video clip that somebody uploaded to YouTube that I have linked to for comedic effect. Whoever has uploaded that is not connected with SusaHumor, so don't go making yourself look stupid as usual by going and leaving silly childish comments on the guy's channel like you usually do! )

The vote has been cancelled. It turns out none of the candidates was actually eligible to run. One was actually a cat, one died in 1948, one was imaginary, and the other hadn't kissed the admin's ass anywhere near enough over the past 3 months!

Admin wrote:

The vote has been cancelled. It turns out none of the candidates was actually eligible to run. One was actually a cat, one died in 1948, one was imaginary, and the other hadn't kissed the admin's ass anywhere near enough over the past 3 months!

Well, no surprises there, then!!!

The results are in!



(Note to those with a red scarf: same blurb as before, so don't go making yourself look stoopid again. BTW, I am aware of the little stories you've been spreading about me to owners of external sites. You will suffer for that.)

Love Black Adder